Shelly

5 Things I Don’t Do

There’s just no time for doing things that don’t light us up. Nobody’s got time for that! Especially during a worldwide pandemic that is still going on after 2 years. I wanted to write this post to share what I’m saying no to and give you permission to do the same. Stop doing the things society is pressuring you into. You do you.

Here are the 5 things I don’t do. That doesn’t mean it’s right or wrong. It’s just right for me at this time. If some of these things I don’t do, you love doing, keep doing them!

make my kids hug

When I say I don’t make my kids hug, I mean that I don’t make them do any physical contact with anyone they refuse. We believe consent is one of the biggest rules humans should follow so we start teaching our kids early about their right to say no as well as standing up for themselves. We do not make our kids hug grandparents. We ask them if they want to be tickled. We ask if they want a hug or kiss before bed, if not, we just wave goodnight.

I know it’s sinking in with both of our kids who are 8 and 3. Last week, as we were at the playground with other homeschool friends, one child put his hand on my oldest’s shoulder and squeezed. I heard her clearly say ‘I didn’t feel comfortable with you squeezing my shoulder, please don’t do that again.’ He replied ‘ok!’ and they went on their way playing. Later, as it was time to leave, my daughter asked that same child if he would like a hug goodbye and he did.

Daring to set boundaries is about having the courage to love ourselves even when we risk disappointing others.

Brene Brown

follow the hoa rules

We live in a neighborhood with an HOA. Knowing now why HOAs were created (here’s an article explaining the history) and what they enforce, we wouldn’t have moved somewhere with an HOA. However, we love our home so for now I’m just going to continue to not follow the rules. Specifically, we do not keep a perfectly manicured lawn. I’m against pesticides. If I had free reign, our entire yard would be fruits, veggies, and flowers to build a mini-ecosystem for pollinators and wildlife. Each year I put in 1-4 new flower beds, which makes mowing that much quicker!

It’s really easy to find my house once you’ve visited once. Every other house has a huge green lawn with some random boxwood up by their house. Mine is full of clovers and dandelions because it feeds the bees and bunnies!

force my kids to learn an instrument

Growing up in my house meant listening to music, loud, all the time. Huey Lewis, Billy Joel, The Beatles, Led Zepplin, Queen, John Mellencamp, and Pink Floyd are the soundtrack to my childhood. I remember my dad running in to crank the stereo anytime Money for Nothin came on (and now I do the same). Rather than force music onto my children, through music lessons, I want to envelop them in many types of music. Enjoying music is the goal. If that leads to interest in an instrument we will totally support that interest. My husband plays drums, guitar and dabbles in piano so we’re not trying to hide it from them.

I also think it’s important for them to understand there are many art forms. Performing, dancing, singing, painting, writing, gardening, and baking are all wonderful ways to be creative. The options are endless when it comes to expression and modeling those behaviors will be more effective than forcing lessons.

Separate my laundry

Let me share with you how we do laundry in our home. Once a week, we ask our oldest to empty her and her sister’s hamper into our hamper. We then dump all of those clothes in the wash at once. Throughout the week we’ll do our hamper and sheets and towels. None of it is separated. We just aren’t precious about our laundry. The one thing we do put in a garment bag is Momma Bunny. Momma Bunny gets the royal treatment because there is only one Momma Bunny and she must be protected at all costs.

dwell on people’s feelings

It has taken 37 years to learn this, and I’m still learning how to do it successfully. When I say I don’t dwell on people’s feelings, I’m saying I’m no longer staying up at night wondering how someone perceives things I’ve done/said. I do not have the bandwidth to wonder why people aren’t calling me. There is a point where I will call and share things with you but with no reciprocation, I just can’t. Relationships are two-way streets. When I am using my good energy, that I want to be sharing with my family, on what others are thinking, ughhhhh it makes me cringe.

In the past, I have thought that I am becoming cold-hearted or less empathetic. What I’ve come to realize is that I’m setting boundaries for myself. It’s freeing and in turn, is giving me more room in my heart to care for those I want to share my heart with.

I’d love to know what things you just don’t do. You refuse to follow ‘the norm’ of what people say you should be doing.

The First Steps of Getting a New Roof

The first steps of getting a new roof with Bone Dry Roofing are very thorough. I partnered with Bone Dry for our new roof because I know they do top notch work. They’re patient, considerate, informative (in a language I can understand) and extremely efficient. Many companies take a long time to respond back or get a project started but Bone Dry Roofing gave us the time we needed when our dog had surgery but when we were ready they were on top of making the entire process extremely smooth.

before new roof-bone dry roofing
new roof-shingles

Working with Bone Dry Roofing

I’ve never had to have a roof replaced and have never even been on a roof before. My husband wanted to replace it himself but I was adamant we had professionals do it because of the steep pitch of the roof. We had a boot replaced on our roof when we first moved in and they’d given us a quote for a new roof that would need to happen a few years down the road. That time came and I knew I wanted to work with Bone Dry because they did such a thorough job previously.

The First Steps of Getting a New Roof

  1. Call the scheduling department to set up an appointment for a date and time for the Roofing Specialist to come out. Ryan Van Treese is the specialist we worked with and I highly recommend asking to work with him.
  2. The specialist will give a courtesy call on his arrival time the day of which is really nice. Sometimes people give broad windows of time if they have other homes to go to before coming to yours. The courtesy call was nice as a mom with a dog that barks with new visitors who wakes up the baby.
  3. The specialist will introduce himself and the process that he will take during the appointment before heading up to the attic. This is a great time for a discussion about noises you’ve heard on the roof or problem areas you may know about.
  4. Next, the specialist heads up to the attic to survey the roof from the inside of your home. He will take a video describing what he sees up there as well as any suggestions to better your roofing system.
  5. After the attic inspection he’ll head outside to survey the property perimeter around the house taking note of what they will have to protect when the roofing job occurs. He will then head up to the roof and document with photos and videos (see video below) any problem areas as well as what they recommend to fix the issues.
  6. Inside, he’ll discuss the proposal of what they suggest in the way of fixing or replacing the roof and the different pricing options. He’ll go over the best possible roofing system, ventilation system, ice and water shield to protect from ice dams and shingle options.
  7. One really cool feature he shows is the Hover App which shows your home with their different shingle options. It can even show different paint colors if you’re doing a full renovation on your home.

There will be two more parts to this series. I’ll be sharing the process of Bone Dry Roofing taking off our old roof and replacing the new roof in the next post next week. The final post will come once we’ve been able to paint our home (it seems to rain a lot in spring) and get the final look of the updated exterior of our home. If you have any questions about the initial meeting I had to get our roof installed, leave them in the comments or send me a message!

Here is a video of the initial inspection of our roof:

Celebrating Juneteenth at The Indiana State Museum and Eiteljorg

Heads up Hoosiers! Celebrations for Juneteenth will be proceeding this year on June 5th. See the following information I’ve received from the media team at The Indiana State Museum.

The Indiana State Museum and Historic Sites, in partnership with the Eiteljorg Museum of American Indians and Western Art and White River State Park, will celebrate Juneteenth on June 5, 2021, with poetry, music, art, family-friendly activities, food trucks, and free admission. 

The state museum’s lineup for the day features:

10 a.m. to noon: Boxx the Artist: Live painting

10:30 a.m.: Spoken Word: Januarie York

10:30 a.m. to 2 p.m.: Collaborative mural project

1 p.m.: Performance: Storyteller’s Drum

Performances will be live streamed on the museum’s Facebook page.

In addition, the state museum will be screening the video “Journey In Search of Justice,” about the struggle for equality in America, and the museum’s video on the history of the Emancipation Proclamation and 13th Amendment.

Reservations are not required at the Indiana State Museum and Historic Sites, but capacity at the museum will be limited to 300 general admission tickets in three time slots – 10 a.m. to 12:30 p.m., 12:30-2:30 p.m. and 3-5 p.m. – plus another 50-100 tickets for members. In addition, all historic sites will be open and free, except for New Harmony State Historic Site.

Freetown Village performing at Juneteenth at the Eiteljorg
Freetown Village performing at Eiteljorg in years past

The Eiteljorg schedule features:

11 a.m. Welcome – Tammy L. Cooper

11:30 a.m. Freetown Village Singers

12:45 p.m. Teresa Stewart poetry reading

1:30 p.m. Rob Dixon Quartet

Performances will also be live streamed.

The Eiteljorg is encouraging reservations. Tickets can be reserved at Eiteljorg.org/Juneteenth. To offer more opportunities to celebrate the holiday, additional content and activities will also be available at that website on June 19.

White River State Park has arranged for Chef Dan’s, Off the Hook Fish, and Comida food trucks to be situated on the circle drive between the two museums. 

Juneteenth, also called Freedom Day or Jubilee Day, is a celebration to commemorate the end of slavery in the United States. The Emancipation Proclamation granted freedom to enslaved people on Jan. 1, 1863, but enslaved people in Texas would not learn of this until June 19, 1865 – Juneteenth. It is typically celebrated on the anniversary date of the June 19, 1865, announcement by Union Army General Gordon Granger, proclaiming freedom from slavery in Texas, but we are celebrating on the first Saturday in June to give the holiday the focus and attention it deserves and not compete with another local grassroots community festival called Indy Juneteenth, which is held at Riverside Park the Saturday closest to June 19. Susannah Koerber, our chief curator and research officer, can talk about the historical significance of the day and show you a copy of the Emancipation Proclamation signed by Lincoln. (Admission is free at all state historic sites except New Harmony.)

In collaboration with community partners, we celebrate Juneteenth on the first Saturday of June to give the holiday the focus and attention it deserves and not divert attention from another local grassroots community festival called Indy Juneteenth, which is held at Riverside Park on the Saturday closest to June 19. 

The goal is to celebrate diversity, educate the public about the Juneteenth holiday, build interest through partnerships with community and grassroots organizations, and eventually to be a part of a citywide Juneteenth holiday celebration.

Beautiful Garden Half Bathroom Renovation

This post is sponsored by Photowall. The Blue Lily wallpaper was gifted in exchange for this post. As always, I only work with companies that I have previously used as a product. We used and loved Photowall wallpaper in Lilly’s preschool Montessori bedroom.

After a year of staring at the walls in my home, I started to get the itch to completely re-do every space. I’ve already done all the decluttering and cleaning projects and now I’m wanting more color and pattern! This past year, gardening as a hobby, brought me the most joy. I wanted to bring more plants and flowers inside. Especially to get rid of the grey winter blues, I needed to bring my garden inside! Que the birds chirping, sun shining and butterflies flittering around. That’s what my new bathroom is!

Photowall Wallpaper is Beautiful

As I mentioned I used Photowall for our daughter’s room and LOVED the product. (You can get 25% off your order of anything on the site until the end of May with code DIYMAMA25). Previously, we wallpapered one wall, ceiling to floor and it was gloriously easy. This time around, we had many obstacles. ‘It’ll be a super easy glow up’ I said. ‘It’s such a small room, what could go wrong?’ We learned a few things about how walls are never even but it’s nothing a little crown molding won’t fix.

Because it is a small half bath (like really small), I wanted wallpaper on top with a board and batten on the bottom. This is a great way to save money on wallpaper. We easily ordered the wallpaper on Photowall.com by putting the dimensions we needed (measure the wall’s height and width and add 6 inches both ways for error). Despite Photowall being in Sweden (across the globe from the US), the wallpaper was on my doorstep a few days after I put the order in!

There were 12 steps to this bathroom renovation of adding wallpaper and board and batten. I want to remind you that this was not the first time I’ve assisted in helping put up wallpaper or board and batten BUT it’s the first time I did 95% of the project on my own.

The 12 Steps to Our Bathroom Renovation

  1. Remove everything from the walls- this includes a toilet paper holder, towel ring, mirror, and any art or shelving you may have hung in the bathroom. I left up the light fixture until I needed to wallpaper that section.
  2. Determine where you want your board and batten- We have an 8 ft ceiling in this room and I knew I wanted more white board and batten than wallpaper. The room is small and I didn’t want it to feel smaller with the pattern of the wallpaper. Once I found the height of the board and batten I drew a horizontal line around the room.
  3. Draw a vertical line the width of your first wallpaper panel- determine which corner you want to start at and draw a line to the ceiling the width of your panel. I knew I didn’t want a noticeable line where the end of the wallpaper meets up with the beginning of the wallpaper. I wanted that to be on the smallest part of the room which was over the doorframe. I started wallpapering with panel 5 in order to have panel 1 start over the door.
  4. Paint on wallpaper paste- you’ll want to fill in the area within your vertical line plus a couple inches past the line. It’s better to have too much paste than too little. If you miss a spot it could cause a bubble, whereas you can push out excess paste if there’s too much.
  5. Add wallpaper panels- line up the panel with the one to its left and continue around the room.
  6. Remove trim- I removed all trim around the door and the baseboards. Because we were adding board and batten I knew I wouldn’t need the baseboards.
  7. Trim excess wallpaper- use a wallpaper ledge (or any long ledge) to help guide a box knife to cut along the initial horizontal line. This will be where the top horizontal piece of the board and batten will be.
  8. Paint, cut, and add baseboards- this was the hardest part for me. Figuring out how the angles needed to be cut for the baseboard trim was confusing. We have an angled wall and I needed lots of help figuring this out.
  9. Paint, cut, and add vertical board and batten- using liquid nails and a nail gun I added the vertical pieces of board and batten.
  10. Paint the board and batten- once all of the board and batten are up you can paint the walls for the board and batten look.
  11. Caulk and fill nail holes- here is another place I learned a valuable lesson. Be sure to use paintable caulk when sealing your seams. I just used some random white caulk we had on hand that apparently repels paint. I had to go back over all the seams with paintable caulk before painting again. I also filled all the nail holes with wood putty. Touch up the nail holes once the wood putty is dry.
  12. Add decor- here’s the fun part! Add back all the decor you took down and admire your newly renovated bathroom!
Bathroom renovation with wallpaper and board and batten

I made a video tutorial of how I put up the wallpaper as well as the board and batten. There are tons of great detailed videos on how to add your Photowall wallpaper if you need more tips. Below is the video I put together of the steps I took to renovate our bathroom.

I’m really proud of how well the bathroom turned out. When I first told my family I wanted to re-do the bathroom (after we already painted and changed out the vanity) they were not looking forward to it. My daughter didn’t like any of the wallpapers I’d chosen and my husband was worried that he’d end up doing the project. Thankfully in the end, everyone was happy and now I can go in my garden bathroom anytime I need the feeling of spring!

Related Posts to Garden Half Bathroom Renovation

Preschool Montessori Inspired Bedroom with Photowall Wallpaper

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Turning 36 During a Pandemic

My life looks very different to millions of other women turning 36 in this world. But here is what turning 36 looks like for me in 2021.

Turning 36 looks like joy. Like little girls twirling and giggling in the family room until they fall on each other.

Turning 36 looks like helplessness. For the grandma going into a nursinghome without understanding why or why we can’t visit.

Turning 36 looks like gratitude. For the ability to stay home with my children in a healthy, safe environment to learn together.

Turning 36 looks like hope. For a new administration who’s values align with my own.

Turning 36 looks like social media fatigue. And having to block all social media apps for months at a time because I struggle with being a happy human when I look at them.

Turning 36 looks like becoming introverted. I’ve always been extremely outgoing. I’ve been happy to talk to anyone, anywhere. Being physically isolated from friends and family has caused me to feel nervous when it is time to call them or socialize. I’m recharged by being on my own rather than exploring and crafting with my kids.

Turning 36 looks like worry. Worry for my friends and family who depend on jobs that require them to be around people, routine appointments that are required to live, and having their children in day care and school. I worry every day for them to not get sick, knowing I can do so little to help ease their pain.

Turning 36 looks like love. My husband and I have never been so eye to eye on our values as we are now. Despite being able to call a babysitter for date nights, we’re still making sure we’re spending quality time together seprate from the girls.

Turning 36 looks like sweatpants that are becoming too tight. Between the pandemic and not utilizing my normal running group through the Y I have not put my health first, or fifth. I’m reigning it back in with less processed foods in our diet and more movement.

All in all, 36 looks nothing like what I’d hoped it would look like. But there’s still joy, love, and hope. I have lots of time this year to plan and dream of travels in our future. But I also have time right now to enjoy being with my babies and having my husband home for lunch most days. I’m most motivated, fulfilled, and happy when I stay in my little bubble with my little family sticking to our routine of homeschooling and nature walks outside. I’m happy to stay here a little while longer.

turning 36 during a pandemic

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