Life

5 Things I Don’t Do

There’s just no time for doing things that don’t light us up. Nobody’s got time for that! Especially during a worldwide pandemic that is still going on after 2 years. I wanted to write this post to share what I’m saying no to and give you permission to do the same. Stop doing the things society is pressuring you into. You do you.

Here are the 5 things I don’t do. That doesn’t mean it’s right or wrong. It’s just right for me at this time. If some of these things I don’t do, you love doing, keep doing them!

make my kids hug

When I say I don’t make my kids hug, I mean that I don’t make them do any physical contact with anyone they refuse. We believe consent is one of the biggest rules humans should follow so we start teaching our kids early about their right to say no as well as standing up for themselves. We do not make our kids hug grandparents. We ask them if they want to be tickled. We ask if they want a hug or kiss before bed, if not, we just wave goodnight.

I know it’s sinking in with both of our kids who are 8 and 3. Last week, as we were at the playground with other homeschool friends, one child put his hand on my oldest’s shoulder and squeezed. I heard her clearly say ‘I didn’t feel comfortable with you squeezing my shoulder, please don’t do that again.’ He replied ‘ok!’ and they went on their way playing. Later, as it was time to leave, my daughter asked that same child if he would like a hug goodbye and he did.

Daring to set boundaries is about having the courage to love ourselves even when we risk disappointing others.

Brene Brown

follow the hoa rules

We live in a neighborhood with an HOA. Knowing now why HOAs were created (here’s an article explaining the history) and what they enforce, we wouldn’t have moved somewhere with an HOA. However, we love our home so for now I’m just going to continue to not follow the rules. Specifically, we do not keep a perfectly manicured lawn. I’m against pesticides. If I had free reign, our entire yard would be fruits, veggies, and flowers to build a mini-ecosystem for pollinators and wildlife. Each year I put in 1-4 new flower beds, which makes mowing that much quicker!

It’s really easy to find my house once you’ve visited once. Every other house has a huge green lawn with some random boxwood up by their house. Mine is full of clovers and dandelions because it feeds the bees and bunnies!

force my kids to learn an instrument

Growing up in my house meant listening to music, loud, all the time. Huey Lewis, Billy Joel, The Beatles, Led Zepplin, Queen, John Mellencamp, and Pink Floyd are the soundtrack to my childhood. I remember my dad running in to crank the stereo anytime Money for Nothin came on (and now I do the same). Rather than force music onto my children, through music lessons, I want to envelop them in many types of music. Enjoying music is the goal. If that leads to interest in an instrument we will totally support that interest. My husband plays drums, guitar and dabbles in piano so we’re not trying to hide it from them.

I also think it’s important for them to understand there are many art forms. Performing, dancing, singing, painting, writing, gardening, and baking are all wonderful ways to be creative. The options are endless when it comes to expression and modeling those behaviors will be more effective than forcing lessons.

Separate my laundry

Let me share with you how we do laundry in our home. Once a week, we ask our oldest to empty her and her sister’s hamper into our hamper. We then dump all of those clothes in the wash at once. Throughout the week we’ll do our hamper and sheets and towels. None of it is separated. We just aren’t precious about our laundry. The one thing we do put in a garment bag is Momma Bunny. Momma Bunny gets the royal treatment because there is only one Momma Bunny and she must be protected at all costs.

dwell on people’s feelings

It has taken 37 years to learn this, and I’m still learning how to do it successfully. When I say I don’t dwell on people’s feelings, I’m saying I’m no longer staying up at night wondering how someone perceives things I’ve done/said. I do not have the bandwidth to wonder why people aren’t calling me. There is a point where I will call and share things with you but with no reciprocation, I just can’t. Relationships are two-way streets. When I am using my good energy, that I want to be sharing with my family, on what others are thinking, ughhhhh it makes me cringe.

In the past, I have thought that I am becoming cold-hearted or less empathetic. What I’ve come to realize is that I’m setting boundaries for myself. It’s freeing and in turn, is giving me more room in my heart to care for those I want to share my heart with.

I’d love to know what things you just don’t do. You refuse to follow ‘the norm’ of what people say you should be doing.

Turning 36 During a Pandemic

My life looks very different to millions of other women turning 36 in this world. But here is what turning 36 looks like for me in 2021.

Turning 36 looks like joy. Like little girls twirling and giggling in the family room until they fall on each other.

Turning 36 looks like helplessness. For the grandma going into a nursinghome without understanding why or why we can’t visit.

Turning 36 looks like gratitude. For the ability to stay home with my children in a healthy, safe environment to learn together.

Turning 36 looks like hope. For a new administration who’s values align with my own.

Turning 36 looks like social media fatigue. And having to block all social media apps for months at a time because I struggle with being a happy human when I look at them.

Turning 36 looks like becoming introverted. I’ve always been extremely outgoing. I’ve been happy to talk to anyone, anywhere. Being physically isolated from friends and family has caused me to feel nervous when it is time to call them or socialize. I’m recharged by being on my own rather than exploring and crafting with my kids.

Turning 36 looks like worry. Worry for my friends and family who depend on jobs that require them to be around people, routine appointments that are required to live, and having their children in day care and school. I worry every day for them to not get sick, knowing I can do so little to help ease their pain.

Turning 36 looks like love. My husband and I have never been so eye to eye on our values as we are now. Despite being able to call a babysitter for date nights, we’re still making sure we’re spending quality time together seprate from the girls.

Turning 36 looks like sweatpants that are becoming too tight. Between the pandemic and not utilizing my normal running group through the Y I have not put my health first, or fifth. I’m reigning it back in with less processed foods in our diet and more movement.

All in all, 36 looks nothing like what I’d hoped it would look like. But there’s still joy, love, and hope. I have lots of time this year to plan and dream of travels in our future. But I also have time right now to enjoy being with my babies and having my husband home for lunch most days. I’m most motivated, fulfilled, and happy when I stay in my little bubble with my little family sticking to our routine of homeschooling and nature walks outside. I’m happy to stay here a little while longer.

turning 36 during a pandemic

The Best Family Activities for January

The Best Family Activities for January- As the weather continues to get colder, grayer, and windier, many of us think we will be stuck inside. This year, after being stuck inside so often, I’m realizing that the winter is the perfect time to be outside as there aren’t as many people at the parks! Our family invested in fleece-lined pants, new hats, and new gloves this year so we never had the excuse of weather to keep us from exploring the outdoors!

This list of the best family activities for January is a list of things you can do to slow down this month. No matter what your family looks like, there should be items on this list for everyone to enjoy.

Family Hikes

Last month we took lots of night walks around different neighborhoods to look at Christmas lights. This month we’re exploring parks around us to know which ones will be our favorites in the warmer months. We compiled a list of local parks in our county and what their attributes are. We’re going to visit each one by spring (likely summer) and rank them. Once the nicer weather comes we’ll know exactly which park we’ll want to go to for creek stomping or hiking or who has the best playground!

family activities for october

Plan a Trip

Typically in January, as a travel writer, I am booking all of our trips with CVBs for the year. Last year all of our trips were canceled and we’re not comfortable enough to make the trips this year. What we are comfortable doing is planning camping trips! There are lots of ‘boondock’ type sites on HipCamp that we feel comfortable being further away from people. If you’re typically the one to make all the plans, make it a family activity this year!

Family Declutter Party

One of my favorite January activities is to declutter. In December we work on decluttering toys to make room for new toys coming in. Once January rolls around I like watching documentaries from The Minimalists and the TV show Tidying Up to get me in the decluttering spirit. It’s always a great reminder of gratitude and appreciation for what we already have. It’s also a great reminder on reducing waste and reusing what we already have. The Minimalists have a challenge where you remove one item the first day, two items the second day, and so on through the end of the month. Having your whole family in on this would be a great way for everyone to see exactly what items they have and what they can part with.

the best family activities for january

Family Goal Setting Party

Some of us make goals and we never share them with anyone. Why? When we share our goals that tell people what’s important to us. It lets them understand us and helps them be able to make sure they hold space for what’s important in our lives. Have a family pizza night and talk about your goals for the year (or month). Maybe do a vision board party or some other hands-on activity where you have your goals hanging somewhere for everyone to see.

Make a family plan for being better

Along with working on goals as a family, sharing what’s important to each of you individually, make a family plan for the year. Have everyone say what they’d like to see their family do together this year. Maybe you want to start volunteering at the food pantry once/month as a family. Maybe you’d like to host a community clean up for a favorite park. Perhaps you’d like to raise or save enough money to purchase a well in Ethiopia. There are lots of great family oriented goals you can work on little by little throughout the year, but you can’t do it unless you can see the big picture.

Family YES Day

Have a family YES day! Have pancakes for dinner. Get dressed up in your finest and break out the fine China for a tea party. Make a fort, pop popcorn and watch a movie. Go play at the park even though you have a house project to work on. Get a huge canvas and let everyone paint whatever they want on it. Just do something fun and say YES to all the things you so often say no to. Your kids will love it. You will love it.

What other traditions and family activities does your family do during Jamuary?? I’d love to know how you make this month special for your family.

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the best family activites for january

The Best Family Activities for December

The Best Family Activities for December- December is such a wonderful month full of cheer, giving, and family. It’s also full of baking and movies and music and pretty sparkly lights! The number of activities your town hosts is likely overwhelming each year. Some years we only add 1-2 new activities but my kids still want to do the same ones from the past so it ends up that we’re doing 4 events per week and it’s the end of December before we can blink.

This list of the best family activities for December is a list of things you can do to slow down this month. No matter what your family looks like, there should be items on this list for everyone to enjoy.

Holiday Lights Night Walk

Where we live, it doesn’t get snowy and slushy until January. We’ve been taking advantage of the clean sidewalks by taking a family walk after dinner to look at the Christmas lights. Each night we take a different way and let the kids choose where to go. We make sure to say hi to all of the blow-up figures and blow kisses when we leave. It’s very sweet and a way to have our kids feel like they have the responsibility of where we’re going.

the best family activities for december

Baking for the Neighbors

Who needs holiday candles when you can just bake?! We love making a few classic treats like peppermint bark and peanut butter kiss cookies along with a new recipe each year. I’ve learned to buy a few tins/tubs after the holidays when they’re on major sale and throw them in with the decorations when we put them away. The following year we’re already set to bake when we have the urge and run them around to the neighbors (which is also super fun for the kids).

Make reading special

Build a cozy fort, have a hot chocolate, or read by the fireplace. Make reading your holiday books or winter books feel extra special and cozy. Sometimes we’ll get all the stuffed animals together and read to them by the Christmas tree as well. TIP– This makes for a really cute photo!

Make cheesy crafts

I always loved making holiday crafts with tons of pom-poms, sequins, toilet paper tubes, and handprints. There are so many great options on my Pinterest page! Since we homeschool, we’re doing one week of Christmas School before the break. Each day we’ll do holiday-themed worksheets for math and writing. We’re also doing a few science projects and a cheesy craft each day. It’s a great way to just keep out the craft supplies all week and make a ton of fun crafts we can send to grandparents.

Learn a new hobby

December is a great time to try out a new skill like sewing, cross-stitch, macrame, or crochet. Even young kids love doing string crafts. One of my daughter’s favorite gifts was this sewing kit I made her.

Preschool Sewing Kit DIY perfect for young sewers just beginning. Fine motor skills, patience and focus are all used for this project.

With your new hobby, make some gifts for friends

Buying gifts off of someone’s Amazon wish list will guarantee that they like it. But will they be touched, inspired, and delighted by the gift? Try making them a gift. It will likely be one of the favorite things they receive this holiday season.

Movies, duh.

You could watch a new holiday movie each day and still not get through all of the wonderful films this holiday season. Between all of the classics, the fun kids movies, and the Hallmark movies, there’s something wonderful for each person in your family.

What other traditions and family activities does your family do during December?? I’d love to know how you make this month special for your family.

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The Best Family Activities for November

The 8 Best Family Activities for November are cozy, restful and centered around family. In Novemeber there are two things I like to focus on: gratitude and learning more about Indigenous peoples. November is a great month to slow down a bit between Halloween festivities and the Holidays in December. November is a great time to catch up on reading and making home-made gifts for the holidays. We love to get cozy in November and get ready for the transition to winter.

Jump In a Leaf Pile

Bring out the kid in you by raking all the leaves and jumping in them as a family. It’s a chore that can be made into a fun game that everyone can play!

Make a Gratitude Jar

November 1st, we like to put a jar out with a pen and strips of paper on our island. Each day at lunch (since we’re all home at lunch together now) we write down what we’re grateful for. We talk about what we wrote and then put the strip in the jar. On Thanksgiving we read each paper from the jar and have such a wonderful conversation about gratitude over dinner.

Emplement Reading Time on the Weekend

November is often grey and cold and wet. We try our best to play outside but some weekends call for a bit of quiet time. Try out a family reading time on Sundays where you can either read as a family or individually. Some of our favorite subjects for picture books during November are gratitude, Indigenous peoples, fall, and family.

Create Thanksgiving Crafts

Crafting is awesome year round but there’s something about the weather turning cold that makes me want to craft. There are so many nature inspired crafts you can create with kids by collecting items on a fall hike. Consider making hand-made gifts for friends and family for Christmas. Maybe make some Thanksgiving crafts.

Have a Toy Purge

I always start to get into stress organizing before the holidays knowing lots of new things will be coming into our home. To avoid burnout at the holidays, I start preparing in November. We look at all the toys we’re no longer playing with and start putting them aside for donation. Some years we gift it to a crisis nursuery, others we adopt a family to gift to. Either way, toys are going out of our house to make room for the enevidable gifts that will pour in a the holidays.

Have a Pantry Purge

Along the same lines as the toy purge, have a pantry purge. Donate canned goods and pick up a few other staples before taking them to the food pantry as a family. Our kids are still too young to volunteer at the food pantry but we still like to take our donations as a family to help them see the need of others.

The best family activities for November

Start a new family tradition

Start a new family tradition by doing a family hike on Thanksgiving, watching the Thanksgiving Day parade or running a 5k together. Most towns have a 5k you can do in the morning before your festivities or you can enjoy nature together with a simple hike. We love doing a morning hike while the parade is on so we can watch it when we get back as we’re preparing our food.

Pass down a familiy recipe

Speaking of food, get your kids in the kitchen this fall and teach them a special family recipe. Maybe it’s your grandma’s green bean cassarole or your mom’s famous pecan pie. Make that special moment between you and your family to pass down a tradition in the form of comfort food.

Whatever you choose to do, let it be centered around family and gratitude. I promise it will bring so much joy and comfort to your heart. What are some of your favorite activities to do with your family in November?

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