5 Things I've Learned from Jeffrey • diy mama

Today is Jeffrey and my 9th anniversary. It doesn’t feel like a huge accomplishment that deserves praise because it is so easy being married to him.

Yes, there are definitely things we disagree on but our core values align and that is all that matters in a relationship.

We are opposites in almost every way which seems to work for us. I can’t tell you the amount of times he’s told me I’m talking too loud or that I need to take a deep breath. I can’t tell you the number of times I’ve told him that the work will always be there and he needs to hang out with his family. We need each other for these reminders.

Through 9 years we’ve built a home, moved states, had two children, adopted a dog, lost loved ones and shared lots more highs than lows.

In honor of our anniversary I thought it would be fun to share 5 things I’ve learned from Jeffrey.

5 Things I’ve Learned From My Husband

To breathe. For you, it might be simple to remember to breathe but apparently I’m still as bad at it as my 5 year old. He helps remind us to take in a deep breath when we’re frustrated, sad or settling in for a book. Taking a deep breath when transitioning can do amazing things.
I can do it myself. I believe people are innately good at certain skills. Things they pick up super easily. One thing I perceive Jeffrey to be great at is handyman type work. He is good at it because he’s done it a lot and has made lots of mistakes. I learned from him that I am just as capable of doing 95% of the jobs he does, even if that means making the same mistakes.
To slow down. Slowing down takes courage for me. It is much easier for me to take the girls on an adventure out of the house than it is for me to be with them at home. I feel like I need to have an activity or games prepared to occupy them if I’m spending time with them. Whenever I go out and Jeffrey is home with the girls he’s able to just BE with them. I have been focusing on just BEING with the girls more and it’s hard. It’s hard to not feel guilty to read a book when there’s so much I should be doing. He’s helped me see the joy in just being.
To expand my horizons with media. I am happy to listen to the same 10 bands and watch the same 20 movies for the rest of my life BUT there is so much to be gained from trying new things. Metal is even growing on me a tiny bit. I’ll watch a movie that has blood in it now as long as it’s not too brutal. Three movies that have really stood out and spoke to me lately are Tully, Booksmart and Brittany Runs a Marathon. Disney movies are still my jam but trying new things has been really fun.
Scheduling time for each other. This last one I learned more recently and it wasn’t directly from him. I found that for me to be happy in a relationship I need to feel connected to that person. I need to have one on one time with that person to truly know them and have them know me. We were really great at scheduling at least one date night per month this past year and it was something I looked forward to all month. They didn’t have to cost money and once I broke down and realized we needed a consistent sitter everything seemed so much easier. Our dates ranged from go-carting to dinner at a new restaurant to theater performances. My only stipulation was ‘no movies’ because we couldn’t talk and really connect.