Why do we feel the need to justify every single thing that we do? I wear many hats that people judge- mom, wife, and entrepreneur being my biggest roles. People will always have opinions on how you should be living. For example, when I had Sophie, I felt great pressure to breast feed her. I thought it was the only way she would grow a healthy body and mind. I was told it creates the necessary bond between a mom and baby. I was told the chemicals in formula are harmful to babies. I saw silent judgement on the eyes of moms who were breastfeeding while I was bottle feeding my baby. After lots of pain, time, tears and money I decided it wasn’t worth feeling like a failure. Sophie is now two with the body and mind of an awesome little girl. How I fed her is so tiny in comparison to everything that has occurred in her life.
Just last week I noticed myself thinking I was a bad wife. I was at a friend’s house for a playdate and she was frantically picking up all of the kid’s toys because her husband was due to be home. She’d mentioned she feels like he thinks she doesn’t do anything all day if they kid’s toys are in site. This made me think of our house when my husband gets home. Sophie and I are usually on the couch with a pile of books, play-doh art on the table, and puzzles that she just remembered she had. At first I thought- she’s right, it does look like I haven’t done anything all day. On my drive home I thought more about our family and the fact that I only have three hours alone to play with Sophie before the hustle and bustle of dinner and bedtime come. I do think it’s important for her to clean up her toys so we now do a quick sweep with her to put away all toys before bedtime stories. We have her do this now to show her that there’s a time that it’s ok to have toys around and play but we need to be responsible for our own messes. I think it’s more important for her to learn how to put away her own toys than it is for me to feel like a good wife because the house is clean when my husband gets home. As I’ve said before, ‘do you‘ and eat cake. It’s the only way you will truly be happy.
I use to feel like the house had to be spotless when my husband got home, my husband never made me feel that way, he’d never say a word to me about the cleanliness of our home while he’s at work, but sometimes you feel like everything should be done. I’ve dropped my apologetic ways mainly because it’s life, I live it, it’s not perfect, our home will probably will never be perfect, and that’s okay. We put so much pressure on ourselves. :::sigh:::
XOXO
You’re so OCD about cleaning, I’m sure he hasn’t once thought your home was messy. 😉
My house is pretty much always a disaster when my husband gets home! Between taking care of Eve and working on my business when she’s sleeping, there’s little time during the day to clean. I know he’s well aware of how much I do during the day, and if he didn’t, I’d make a point to share an outline of what I do during the day. 😉 Regardless if you’re working on another job or not as a stay-at-home parent, it’s a TON of work. Obviously you have to do what works for you, but it’s unfortunate that any of us should have to justify what we do.
It’s funny! They never care but we get worried they care! Good idea, make sure he knows if he questions. 😉