How to Help a New Mom

Hello friends!! This past weekend I went to see my 3 day old niece Lyla and swooned over her for a couple of days! I was also able to help out her family with a few chores that were super simple for me but was one more thing off their list that they didn’t have to do. I had a lot of pain after giving birth and we had my husband’s parents come into town for a few days to help us out as well. I wanted to give some ideas on things that are helpful to a new mom or a mom who’s already knows the drill but has another child to care for as well. Knowing how to help a new mom is tough because it’ll be different for every mom but being there to offer a hand will be greatly appreciated no matter how you help.

For me, as a first time mom, I’d gone to all the classes, read all the books was extremely confident once we had Sophie but was physically unable to care for her for the first week. We also struggled during breastfeeding with countless hours of in-home lactation consultant visits and trips to visit the ears/noes/throat doctor. There is nothing that can prepare a mom for breastfeeding. Every baby is different, every mom is different and if you’re successful with breastfeeding from the beginning, count your blessings. One never feels as frustrated and inadequate as a mom who is unable to feed her new baby. The urgency you feel to help your baby stop crying so she can eat, so she can sleep, so she can grow and LIVE is immeasurable. The BIGGEST help was having Theresa come into our home. Being patient, calm, soft spoken and encouraging to me and Sophie through our first several weeks of trying to breast feed was exactly what we needed. I strongly encourage women to have an in-home lactation consultant come into their environment once to critique how you are feeding. The smallest adjustments can make a world of difference in the breastfeeding experience. If you’re trying to help out a new mom who you know is sleep deprived and frustrated about breastfeeding, suggest helping to pay for an in-home lactation consultant.

Taking care of other children in the home is another huge help to mom and dad. Keeping them quiet for mom to rest can be difficult, so take them to the grocery to pick up dinner or to the park to get some playground time in. Have them help you water the flowers or fold the laundry. Helping with meals, baths and naps is very helpful so mom and dad don’t have to keep track of routines with their sleep deprived brains.

Another super helpful chore is outdoor work. No matter the time of year, there is always something that needs to be taken care of outside. Mowing the lawn, weeding, watering flowers, raking leaves, picking up sticks and shoveling snow are all completely off limits to a mom who’s just had a baby and it’s very likely that dad is pretty worn out as well. You could also fill bird feeders, clean bird baths, or cut a bouquet so mom can enjoy her flowers inside.

Taking care of pets is a chore that can easily go unnoticed when you’re a new parent. Having my friend come over to walk our dog Lexi was a huge help in relaxing her and I. She was able to see a friend, get some energy out and be more calm around the baby. It is also helpful to make sure they get their food/water, brush them or give them a bath to help with the amount of hair. I get anxious with clutter and dog hair and everything was heightened when I’d just had Sophie so keeping our house clean meant a lot to me.

Snuggle their new baby if they say you can! I needed people to hold Sophie because it was uncomfortable for me to do so. She was happiest when walking around, which gets really tiring when you’re not sleeping. Being able to go to the bathroom, take a shower, get a snack when you need to is something that you take for granted when you don’t have a baby who needs to be held all the time. Give tips on what worked for your baby if tips are welcome. Some moms don’t want you to even give them suggestions because it makes them feel like you’re trying to tell them what to do or what they’re doing wrong. In other cases, there are moms that want all the help they can get and are happy to receive suggestions. I had the mentality that if something didn’t work, we’d try something else and then something else until it worked–all suggestions were welcome.

There are numerous things you can do besides bringing lasagna and baby clothes to a family with a new baby. Whether they’re a new mom or a mom that has a few kids already, everyone could use help. No matter how small or large the task, every little bit is helpful. Depending on how close you are with the new parents, cleaning their kitchen, making dinner, cleaning bathrooms or doing their laundry are things that are non-stop and can weigh them down with necessary stress. Know your boundaries and if you don’t, just ask!  What are some ways that you’ve helped a new parent? Was there something that was particularly helpful for when you had a child?

Yesterday I was guest posting over at Dana’s site, This Silly Girl’s Life on how I made a Scrapbook of Love Letters! Go check it out!