My life looks very different to millions of other women turning 36 in this world. But here is what turning 36 looks like for me in 2021.
Turning 36 looks like joy. Like little girls twirling and giggling in the family room until they fall on each other.
Turning 36 looks like helplessness. For the grandma going into a nursinghome without understanding why or why we can’t visit.
Turning 36 looks like gratitude. For the ability to stay home with my children in a healthy, safe environment to learn together.
Turning 36 looks like hope. For a new administration who’s values align with my own.
Turning 36 looks like social media fatigue. And having to block all social media apps for months at a time because I struggle with being a happy human when I look at them.
Turning 36 looks like becoming introverted. I’ve always been extremely outgoing. I’ve been happy to talk to anyone, anywhere. Being physically isolated from friends and family has caused me to feel nervous when it is time to call them or socialize. I’m recharged by being on my own rather than exploring and crafting with my kids.
Turning 36 looks like worry. Worry for my friends and family who depend on jobs that require them to be around people, routine appointments that are required to live, and having their children in day care and school. I worry every day for them to not get sick, knowing I can do so little to help ease their pain.
Turning 36 looks like love. My husband and I have never been so eye to eye on our values as we are now. Despite being able to call a babysitter for date nights, we’re still making sure we’re spending quality time together seprate from the girls.
Turning 36 looks like sweatpants that are becoming too tight. Between the pandemic and not utilizing my normal running group through the Y I have not put my health first, or fifth. I’m reigning it back in with less processed foods in our diet and more movement.
All in all, 36 looks nothing like what I’d hoped it would look like. But there’s still joy, love, and hope. I have lots of time this year to plan and dream of travels in our future. But I also have time right now to enjoy being with my babies and having my husband home for lunch most days. I’m most motivated, fulfilled, and happy when I stay in my little bubble with my little family sticking to our routine of homeschooling and nature walks outside. I’m happy to stay here a little while longer.
Leave a Reply